Sing for the Tears  Sing for the Laughter
by Cougar'sCatnip
Summary: Two sides of the coin.  Warning: Slash / language
1. Chapter 1

Sing for the Tears.

By CC

Hijo de puta would never know just how much he meant to him. How he held his very sanity in his hands. Sometimes all he had to hold to was the constant stream of words that fell from those full lips. And sometimes he would stop the words with a long wet kiss, and blue eyes would stare into his and just give him what he needed. No questions, no strings, just give with no thought of gain. How fucked up was that? Sometimes he felt like such an asshole but still he soaked up all that motherfucking love, cause to not take what was offered so freely would hurt him and Cougar would die before he hurt Jensen.

That Mexican son of a bitch would never know just how much he meant to him, how he held his very sanity in his hands. How his silence soaked up all the bad shit they saw, and gave him a safe calm place to rest. Sometimes he would just look at him with those mocha eyes that gave him the acceptance he so desperately needed, no expectations, no strings, just unconditional love and he would be damned if he understood how he could even stand to be around him when his mouth ran away from him and his brain just wouldn't fucking shut up. Sometimes he felt like such an asshole but still he soaked up all that motherfucking love, cause to not take what was offered so freely would hurt him and Jensen would die before he hurt Cougar.


	2. Chapter 2

Sing for the Laughter

CC

Does he even know how hysterical he is sometimes? How the joy of life just oozes out of every pore? He smiles and the whole room lights up. Cougar just wants to sit and bask in that light. He wants to soak up every single second in his presence. 'Cause with what they do… how they do it…there is not telling how long they will last and this second may be all they have.

Does he even know how happy it makes him to see him smile? How to bring even the slightest twitch to those stoic lips makes him giddy with excitement? When he smiles the universe stops and Jensen's heart skips a beat and he all he wants is to make him smile again. He wants to soak up every single second in his presence. . 'Cause with what they do… how they do it … there is not telling how long they will last and this second may be all they have.


	3. Chapter 3

Sing for the Moment

CC

He has no clue how much he yearns for his touch, for something gentle to hold on to. Their lives are so full of violence and pain but the bump of a shoulder, the brush of a finger against the back of his neck makes him want to purr like the cat he is named for. Sometimes late at night when he wakes from yet another nightmare and Jensen curls up behind him and presses close, Cougar wants nothing more than to simply lay there and drink in his touch. To feel long clever fingers running along his aching body until the whole world disappears and all he can do is hold on and give himself up to breathless pleasure and he prays that the moment never ends.

He has no clue how much he loves to touch him, to run his hands through long black hair and feel the slide of warm silky tresses through his fingers. The simple brush of calloused hands across his back or the press of a thigh against his as they sit close together is the anchor he clings to in the midst of the violence and pain that rocks their world, a moment of gentleness that he yearns for. And sometimes late at night when the nightmares come and he wakes with a gasp, Cougar rolls close wrapping his arms around him and pulls him to a warm and solid chest and Jensen wants nothing more than to simply lay there listening to the beat of his heart and the sound of his breath. To feel strong clever fingers running along his aching body until the whole world disappears and all he can do is hold on and give himself up to breathless pleasure and he prays that the moment never ends.


	4. Chapter 4

Sing for the Years

CC

Dreams are for normal people, not those caught in an endless circle of violence and war, but something, somehow allows Jensen still to dream, to imagine that there is a future for them. That someday this will be over and they will walk free under a peaceful sky. Cougar wonders how he can still have hope after all they have seen and done. But Jensen insists and somehow, some way Cougar clings to that dream and it helps. That in some small way in spite of the violence and the unspeakable horror of war they are making the world a better place and that maybe, just maybe in amongst all the tears and the laughter and the stolen moments, their dreams of peace and love aren't that impossible after all.


End file.
